A healthy relationship means that both (or all) people involved feel safe, respected, and comfortable with each other. The relationship can be romantic, sexual, platonic, or somewhere in between.

Whether it's short-term (casual dating, friendships, or early romantic/sexual connections) or long-term (usually involve deeper emotional connection, commitment, and shared goals), a healthy relationship brings out the best in you, encourages your independence, and supports your personal growth.

Here is what healthy relationships (short or long-term) should look like:

• Mutual consent – Everyone involved freely agrees to what’s happening, every time.
• Mutual respect – Each person respects the other’s boundaries, choices, and feelings.
• Communication – People in the relationship can talk openly and honestly about what they want, don’t want, like, or are unsure about.
• Equality – No one feels pressured, manipulated, or controlled into doing anything they don’t want to do.
• Trust and safety – You can rely on each other and feel emotionally and physically safe.
• Healthy conflict – Disagreements are handled calmly, with kindness and respect.
• Support for each other – You're there for each other during both good and challenging times.
• Freedom to leave – No one feels trapped; it’s okay to step away if it no longer feels right.

Healthy Sexual Relationships

Healthy sexual relationships are about more than just physical intimacy — they are built on trust, understanding, and care for each other’s wellbeing. Ideas about what constitutes a healthy sexual relationship will differ, depending on a variety of factors including personal and cultural perspectives. It is important to have open discussions, establish boundaries, and prioritise each other’s wellbeing and satisfaction.

Common principles might include:

• Mutual enjoyment.
• Being able to protect yourself and your partner against STI’s/unintended pregnancy.
• Mutual respect and consent.
• Feeling comfortable and accepted about your orientation and gender identity.
• Being able to choose to have sex or not to have sex.
• Being free from exploitation, coercion, physical or emotional harm.

Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support.

The law defines consent as when a person ‘agrees by choice, and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice’. Sexual consent is when all individuals involved in a sexual activity willingly agree to participate. It must be a free and informed choice, made without pressure, and each person must have the capacity to make that decision. If any kind of physical, emotional, or psychological pressure, abuse or force is used to coerce someone to have sex, then the person being coerced has lost their freedom of choice, so they cannot truly consent. 

Myths and Stereotypes

1. Only strangers sexually assault - Most assaults and rapes are committed by someone that is known to the victim – a friend, acquaintance, partner, or ex-partner.

2. Only women can be victims of sexual violence, and only men can be perpetrators - Anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, can be a victim or perpetrator of sexual violence. While some laws define rape as penetration with a penis, other forms of non-consensual sexual acts are also serious crimes. All survivors deserve to be believed and supported.

3. People who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol are asking for it - It is not a crime to drink, but it is a crime to target someone who is not capable of consenting to sex due to being impaired by alcohol. Responsibility lies with the perpetrator.

4. If I agree to do anything sexual, I have agreed to do everything else as well - Consent to do one thing does not automatically imply you consent to do other things. It's OK to say no at any time.

5. Rape is caused by the perpetrator's uncontrollable sexual urge - We are all fully able to control our sexual urges. Rape is an act of power and control, not of sexual gratification.

6. Someone who wears a short skirt and shows their cleavage is showing that they are up for sexual activity - A person does not indicate their consent to sexual activity by their appearance. Everybody has the right to dress however they choose without being sexually assaulted. No one should be blamed for being sexually assaulted because of what they are wearing.

7. If you're in a relationship, consent is automatic - Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you always have access to someone’s body. Consent is needed every time, regardless of past activity.

Image: The A - Z of Consent by Consent Coalition

Consent is everyone's responsibility. Let's Be clear on Consent is a university initiative that aims to provide students with information about sexual consent as well as tackle the myths and misunderstandings about sexual consent, rape and sexual abuse. It also includes comprehensive details of where to find support.

This includes any sexual act without valid consent such as rape and sexual assaults and being pressured into sex. It can also include being pressurised or being tricked into having unsafe sex, including deception over the use of birth control. Sexual abuse can also include forced involvement in making or watching pornography.

Reporting and getting help

• If you experience any incidence of sexual abuse, use Report and Support anonymously to tell us what happened or ask to speak to an advisor. This is not making a formal report to the university, it is to enable you to access the support you need to make an informed decision on what to do next.
• We have a group of specially trained staff who can listen and help you understand the options and support available to you - Sexual Violence Liaison Officer (SVLO) Service - The University of Nottingham.
• You can report incidents to the police by calling 101.

In an emergency, phone 999.

If you are on campus, phone: 0115 951 8888.

There are a number of external organisations you can contact if you have experienced sexual violence. These include: 

• Notts SVS Service Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA)
• Equation
• Juno Women's Aid
• Women's Aid
• The Topaz Centre, Nottingham

Condoms

Condoms offer protection from sexually transmitted infections as well as preventing unintended pregnancy. If you are a registered student at the University of Nottingham, you can sign up for the UoN condom scheme.

Request condoms

When you complete this form for the first time, you will then be sent a pack of condoms plus a card with your condom scheme number on. Please be aware if you may have to wait up to 2 weeks for condoms to arrive in the post.

Please keep a note of your condom card number. When you want to request more condoms, please complete the form again but this time using your condom card number. 

Contraception

The NHS provides information about different types of contraception, including where to get them and how well they work at preventing pregnancy.

Find out more

Emergency contraception can prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex or if your contraceptive method has failed, for instance if a condom has split or you've missed a pill.

LGBTQIA+ is an umbrella term used to refer to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, those who are queer or questioning their sexual and/or gender identity, intersex people, and those who are asexual, aromantic, and/or agender.

LGBTQIA students are an important part of our university community. Together, we should create an open and relaxed environment where everyone can be themselves, whatever their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.

University and local support groups for LGBTQIA+ students

• UoNSU LGBT+ Network - Socials, information and events.
• LGBT+ Society aims to bring together queer students on campus. Whether you like coffee meetups, board games, movie nights, thrifting, or club nights, you’ll find lots of people with shared interests. They hold weekly events, alternating between Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 7-9pm! 
• Notts LGBT+ Network - provides information and support to the LGBT+ communities in Nottingham and Nottinghamshire County.
• LGBT+ service Nottinghamshire - Offer counselling for LGBT+ people under 25. 
• Nottingham Trans Hub - Resources, socials, and signposting to other trans friendly services.
• The Health Shop – operating in Nottingham City, offers advice and support around sexual health for people within the LGBTQ+ community.

• Sexual Health services Nottingham and Nottinghamshire
• Nottingham POW - supporting the rights of sex workers and those at risk of being exploited
• FPA (Formerly Family Planning Association)
• Respect not Fear - information about healthy relationships and keeping safe.
• Testicular Cancer - symptoms, prevention and more
• Terrence Higgins Trust (for sexual health and HIV)
• NHS Sexual Health
• Organisations and online information for trans and non-binary people
• Cervical screening
• British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS)
• Brook (Sexual health and wellbeing support and information for young people)